Thanks!

As the final day of November has arrived , I am still puzzled at where the last couple months have disappeared to. I feel like yesterday was August and we are now approaching December. I never understood how time flies but let me tell you it flies. The holidays bring a bit of extra flying time with it. As one date arrives and the others right around the corner. Since Thanksgiving has just been here . I have wanted to post thanks. Due to work and a crazy weekend following Thanksgiving it has taken me till today to post.

It has been one tough year. Having a kid ,dealing with finances and work. As well as juggling a relationship on the mere few hours we get to spend together in the week, is far more difficult than imagined. But here is what i am thankful for:

~ My husband! If it wasn't for Shawn there would be a lot of things I would of never been able to do. He is always there when I need him. And it is hard for the both of us that we do not get to spend much time together, but the time spent together is cherished.

~Caspian! Caspian has changed my world and flipped it up side down. I would do anything for him and so glad God has blessed me with him.

~Both of My families- biological and married into family. If it wasn't for all of my family I would have such a hard time. Thank you Mom, dad, Caitlin, Bre, Mandy, Ali, Frank, Courey, Sharon and Family,Grandma Marlene, and everyone else too.

~Home, I am so thankful that my family has a apartment to call home. I know that so many people are struggling financially (so are we) and might not be able to have a home of there own. I am so glad that we can fight to keep ours.

~My job. I am still struggling with the previous change at work . And still having a hard time couping with it. But I thank God everyday for giving me this job when he did and that i still have it now. the only job i've held this long. 2 yrs 2 weeks and counting.

~ Mops! Let me tell you that in the few months i have attended . I have met some great ladies and hope to make some lasting friendships. It is just great to have a place where i can relax.

I am sure there are things that i have left off. But for now off the top of my head these are the most important. Above all of those I am Thankful for God. I am trying hard to get back in to the swing of things with God. I have been off this track for a long time, but i want Caspian to know the Lord and see it as an important step. I am excited to see the holiday coming , and just around the corner is Caspian's 1st birthday... But that is another blog. Thanks for everything!

A Cycle

I have recently discovered that i have a cycle.... The weekends im like a zombie i feel dead and, nothing gets done around the house and everything gets messy again after i spent the whole week cleaning it up. It so annoying. I work so hard to get it to where i want it for it just to get back to where i don't want it in just a few mer days. With the holidays coming up it just makes everything so much more difficult. I just hope that i will be able to find a balance soon. I am getting tired of trying so hard for it to go no where... In other news in the last week caspian has started walk, and his cousin santino came to visit from germany. I am excited about the holidays. Just hope everything goes well with work and the holidays... I can get stressful and over work you.... well off to clean.

Things to work on...

Its nice to be able to get out and about and meet with other women and just relax. 2 hrs I don't have to worry about cas and 2 hrs when shawn is a work. Stress free until I leave. Then the reality of life kicks back into gear . Oh the holiday season is upon us... the start of 6 day work weeks has arrived. I am not happy. the stress of what to do for Halloween, what to make for thanksgiving and what to get people for Christmas has arrived. With Halloween a few days away its all well and good. I have my costume and caspian has his. We have are plans and i am super excited. We have decided that we are going to keep Christmas simple. Just get each others a few things, not spending much over 50 per each of us and just get cas a few things. He doesn't need a lot he doesn't get the concept of the whole thing yet. I also don't want him to expect crazy outrageous Christmas's later on in life because Christmas is about Christ not presents. I on the other hand and still struggling with a few things. Its hard for me, to be where i am at right now. Its a struggle everyday. If it wasn't for shawn and Cas i would have such a harder time. I am working on some things right now. All in my head. Just breathe.... I need to start thinking before i speak... stay calm.... and breathe. What we talked about mops totally pertains to what i've been thinking about lately.Now its just getting everything worked on.

Working on Life

Everyday is a new page in my book. And some days are harder to write than others. i have decided that i should make goals for each day and maybe that will help me with the harder days and make the other days feel more accomplished. There has been alot going on. Caspian takes up so much of my time. In less than four months he will be a year old. I still don't know where the last 8 ish months have gone. Work is hard. I still have things I am dealing with. It makes 3 plus days of the week alot harder. Being able to spend my free time doing things i love help but lately we haven't has the time. Trying to organize and baby proof the apartment. working on getting rid of clothes that I don't fit in or don't wear any more. Hopefully organizing and simplifying will make things around the house easier. Which in turn will make more free time for things i love. Time with my family, crafting, photography, etc. Its that time of year to start thinking about the holidays... starting with halloween, then thanksgiving, then christmas followed by new years. Hopefully going to have a harry potter halloween party, and going trick or treating (already got mine and Caspian's costume). Dom , Vanessa, and santino are here for thanksgiving! We are thankful that they are going to be here . Excited about christmas it will be Caspians 1st !!!! Working on what i am going to make for everyone and what to get my husband and son. Got one of my christmas presents already... yes i picked it out . i am excited about it. and then new years... not so excited about that holiday. I am working on some of my issues. It helps that I have shawn and some of my friends from my MOPS group. It helps I have other friends too. If i didn't have some of these people i would be a wreck. I hope that by changing how i approach the day .

Wo

Neglect

Ode I have neglected you. Life is crazy and I've needed to talk. But sometimes there just isn't any time. In the past month things have been hard. I didn'tget the position at work that I wanted. Still trying to deal with that still and it is hard. Then after that things just seemed to be all over the board. The things that go on in life that are difficult are not things that you grow up getting prepared for. Man life can dish it out. Lately it just seems if its not one thing its another . And in the past month since I have last written I had 3 awesome days Sept. 12-14th . All the others were either okay or bad .. and I had one awful day the 15th was the worst day i have had in a while. Almost lost my iPod( it works so far we will just have to wait and see), just got my ass kicked at work, and all was crazy. I'm on my 6th day straight of work and from from Tuesday to today I have worked 48.5 hours, plus I still have today to work. I so can not wait for tomorrow. I am going to be so lazy. Just trying to figure things out and get things going in the right direction.

Neglect

Ode I have neglected you. Life is crazy and I've needed to talk. But sometimes there just isn't any time. In the past month things have been hard. I didn'tget the position at work that I wanted. Still trying to deal with that still and it is hard. Then after that things just seemed to be all over the board. The things that go on in life that are difficult are not things that you grow up getting prepared for. Man life can dish it out. Lately it just seems if its not one thing its another . And in the past month since I have last written I had 3 awesome days Sept. 12-14th . All the others were either okay or bad .. and I had one awful day the 15th was the worst day i have had in a while. Almost lost my iPod( it works so far we will just have to wait and see), just got my ass kicked at work, and all was crazy. I'm on my 6th day straight of work and from from Tuesday to today I have worked 48.5 hours, plus I still have today to work. I so can not wait for tomorrow. I am going to be so lazy. Just trying to figure things out and get things going in the right direction.