All that Hustle and Bustle....

o with the year coming to an end, and a new one around the corner I thought it would be good to post whats going on in our life at the Kelly's. This year has come and gone in what feels like a blur...

Caspian turned one

Shawn got a new job

We bought a house and moved

Celebrated our 2nd Anniversary

Courey got married (and Shawn's mom visited)

My parents came up for Thanksgiving

Celebrated our 1st Christmas at our new home

We took a short trip in November, the week before Thanksgiving. D.C. was our trip of choice, because it was cheap and close. Caspian had a blast. When we got back it was crazy getting ready for Thanksgiving . (sorry for my sideways pictures)

My parents to Caspian out on walks in the yard during there visit. It was nice, and hectic but still

enjoyable all the same

We got our 1st real tree. Caspian had a blast helping us pick it out. He still doesn't realize what is going

on.

Caspian helped me make my Christmas Cookies . We spent Christmas Eve at the Degeorge's in Morgantown. It was nice and relaxing and fun.Christmas morning was great. Caspian enjoyed opening his gifts, then he got tired and refused to open them all. Who would of thought a kid wouldn't want to open all his gifts. On the 26th we went to the chocolate store in the Strip District and I got me some belated stocking stuffers. Ended up making delicious hot chocolate with it.

I am sad to see the year come to an end. I am not saying that this year was easy. We had our highs and lows. Some bad points and some great ones. It is nice to know that we are about to begin another year together and enjoy life as it tosses new things at us all the time.

Up and coming for 2012

Caspian turns 2

We are planing a big trip (either Europe with just me and shawn or Disney with all of us )

and tons tons more that haven't even happened yet.

Far to long have our paths not crossed....

It was summer and then it was not. Last time i posted seemed forever ago or not . June .... June was just yesterday right ? Well since June we have purchased a home. Thank the Lord!!!!!! We have moved. It was a long and stress full July and August. End of August the house was ours. September was a mess of unpacking and getting situated into to the new lifestyle of home owner ship. Me and Shawn celebrated our 2nd Anniversary . Shawn's Mom came to visit . It was nice to be able to host and have a place to do it. October starts and Courey Wed. It was a beautiful wedding/reception. And now it is Mid October .... and June seems more far off than it did when i started this post. We went to the dentist for Caspian at the beginning of the month. They hope his tooth won't have to get pulled but we won't know for sure till December (which by the way was there earliest appointment)Things are getting into a routine and we are working on getting Caspian to sleep on his own... Still struggling to even get him to nap alone let alone sleep alone. Talking about our future and dealing with everyday stresses are the things our lives entail.

progress

But progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged. Let us preserve what must be preserved and prune practices that ought to be...prohibited!

This is the quote that popped into my head as I am about to start my blog. I have attempted many a times to sit down and blog the past 2 months. But there has been little or no time. Or if I have started i decided it was better that i not write in that state of mind.
We are moving forward. In a slow and stressful pace but we are getting some where. Last month Caspian went in for a blood test and his lead levels went up. There is little we can do in our apartment to help. We do what we can. So our house hunt was kicked up a knotch or two. For the past month and half we have been working on all the home buying aspects. looking for loans and homes. Deciding on what area , what schools we want Caspian to go to. How far we would be away from the things and places we go to know. My parents came to visit the past weekend and went house hunting with us. It was a fun and stressful weekend. Discussing the pros and cons to some of these houses we liked.

I spent the last week talking with loan places and dealing with trying to obtain one. It was so stressful and discouraging at times. I didn't even nap like normal. I was so flustrated and ready for the week to be over when a little light at the end of the tunnel came. If things go in an uphill manner we should be getting to a point where we could have a house by the end of next month.

I thank everyone who has been praying for us, and those who have put up with me during this stressful time. I never thought that I would hate house hunting. I've gotten to the point i can't even turn on my favorite channel.... HGTV.... Its been far more of and ordeal than it ever needed to be but I know in the end that I will be happy that we have our own home, and we can call it our own.

Recipe Time

Rhubarb-Ginger Cream Cheese Bars

I was so excited when I realized it was Rhubarb season again.... Its not a long season so you have to enjoy it as much as you can. And everyone always associates Rhubarb with Strawberries . Thats a great combo, but there are so many other flavors that go with Rhubarb. Last year i made a Rhubarb Pineapple pie... yum.... This year i opened a magazine i got in the mail and there was this recipe. Sounds perfect to me. It was so delicious even though i messed it up. Yes even a pastry chef doesn't always read the recipe or forgets something. It was still good.

Mine was one big gooey mess and so delicious.

A homey brown sugar and oatmeal mixture serves as both a topping and a crust in these rhubarb-intense bars. Using grated ginger for the filling instead of chopped ensures that the ginger flavor is dispersed throughout the filling.

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup old-fashioned or quick-cooking oats
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 (8-oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup sour cream
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
2 1/2 cups sliced fresh rhubarb (about 12 oz.)(3/4 inch)*

1. Heat oven to 350°F. Line 9-inch square baking pan with foil; spray foil with cooking spray.

2. Beat butter in medium bowl at medium speed 1 minute or until creamy. Beat in brown sugar 30 to 60 seconds or until well-blended. At low speed, beat in flour, oats and salt 30 to 60 seconds or until crumbly. Reserve 1/2 cup of the oat mixture; press remaining mixture into bottom of pan.

3. Wipe bowl clean. Add cream cheese; beat at medium speed 1 minute or until fluffy. Beat in sugar 1 minute or until creamy. At low speed, beat in sour cream 15 seconds. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in vanilla and ginger.

4. Sprinkle rhubarb over crust; cover with batter. Bake 20 minutes. Sprinkle with reserved 1/2 cup oat mixture; bake an additional 25 to 30minutes or until puffed and lightly browned, and knife inserted in center comes out clean.

5. Cool on wire rack to room temperature. Cover and refrigerate several hours or overnight. Remove from pan using foil; cut into bars.

TIP *Three cups well-drained thawed frozen rhubarb can also be used.

9 bars

PER BAR: 365 calories, 19.5 g total fat (11 g saturated fat), 5 g protein, 43.5 g carbohydrate, 100 mg cholesterol, 175 mg sodium, 1.5 g fiber

Enjoy my friends!

My total savings today= 328.81 +

Its my birthday and I went shopping for me. Since it is my day and all! I’m 24. No milestone but it was worth a few things for me to celebrate. So I got a water bottle, nail polish, bra, fuzzy socks, a book, 2 pairs of shoes, a skirt, 2 pairs of jeans, 3 shirts, and a few things for Cas. I got him 2 pairs of slippers, 1 pair of shoes, Snow pants, and 3 shirts. 20 items for 123.19. That to me is GREAT. I don’t feel like I went crazy. My most expensive purchase of the day was the 2 pairs of shoes… but I got them for 22 bucks a pair. And they will last me for years. So its worth it. My cheapest thing I got today .50 cents and that was a shirt for Caspian.

Yesterday was not so good of a day. It had its highlights, but there were more lows to its highlights.

Today before my shopping trip, this is how it began. We woke up and got ready. I made lunches for both of us. Then we went and ate breakfast (I had a coupon for a free breakfast sandwich). And we enjoyed ourselves. Then I had to drop Shawn off at work. And Cas and I headed to the outlet mall. In hand I had my 20% of Tanger Coupons, and $15 off my $50 purchase at old navy birthday coupon( I also knew they were having a 40% off everything sale). Waan’t sure what I was looking for but I know I found a lot of good things.

As for the rest of my day. After shopping I let cas nap in the car while I read a little. Then I talked to my mom for a few. Cas and I headed in (a little disappointed in no birthday cards in my mail today, but Courey’s save the date was there) and scoped out the great deals that were made. Figured out our savings, and are chilling out. In a few I am going to heat up some Potato soup I made, and eat. After we get Shawn we are going to stop at Starbucks and redeem my free birthday drink. So today is and has been a good day.

Then for tomorrow we have AMAZING plans. We are going to see Water for Elephants. As well as get free coffee at Starbucks and Caribou. Then get free reusable totes from the Disney store, and free face wash from Macy’s. Talk about AWESOME. Then I have to go fill out paper work at my new job to make it official. And maybe go to the Pirates game (and get a free shirt and free reusable coffee sleeve) . It will be a full day.

My house might be a mess… but its my birthday so I will forgo cleaning today and tom . Saturday however is a different story.

Thinking Ahead

I got a job. So much for being a stay at home mom. I mean I still will be . I won't be working full time, no more than 25 hrs a week. It will be nice to contribute to the funds again. I was starting to feel bad when i bought things. And I felt like i was going to become an extreme couponer if i wasn't careful. Just to feel good because i was saving money. Instead of talking about my trip and my not so wonderful experience. I thought that i would talk about what i would like to come. I never knew I could love anything as much as i love my husband and kid. They are 2 of the best things in my life which has made me want more. Yes everyone tessa is talking about how she wants a 2nd kid. Now I know that I have to wait to plan the next one till we get a house. Which hopefully will be in our NEAR future. For our lease is up in the fall and i don't want to have to live in this apartment much longer. It has been great. But that greatness is over. On top of that my car will be paid off in sept. Knock on wood . SOOO what i want to do is with my paychecks. Chuck 75% of them into savings and then with the rest have a little extra spending and paying off some of those bills we have. Hopefully if things go according to plan 1. got a job (hope that it works out.little worried about that.) 2. work on paying off bills and saving money at the same time 3. pay off car! 4. buy us a house 5. move 6. work on our next kid. and with in all that be happy and enjoy life. and if things don't go according to plan. it will be ok. But as for now it time to Celebrate my 24th birthday on thursday.

Prospect and Retrospect...

It usually happens that MOPS and my bible/book study fall on the same week. Which is fine but it leaves me with alot to think about being that MOPS is all about being a mom and the bible/book study is about being a wife. Both which are hard and nothing easy about them. Being a wife is a full time job in itself , unconditionally loving your man and unconditionally respecting him... really respecting him is where it is at. It is what he need. I never knew this until I started reading the book Love and Respect. You'd have to read it to really get to the root of things. But the further you get into the book it makes you realize that Men need there Women to respect them and Women need there Men to love them. In turn there is a cycle if a women doesn't feel loved she doesn't respect her husband and if the husband doesn't feel respect then he doesn't show his love. Simple as it may seem it is harder to apply to your life than it may seem. It is a crazy cycle. And most of the time one or the other spouse's notice this happening . Some may take action and others might think that it will fix itself. I always come home from my bible/book study feeling guilty and like such and aweful wife. I know I'm not but when we open up for these other women in my group , It exposes your flaws as well as your mans. And might even rub salt in an open wound when it dawns on you that you are in fact in the crazy cycle. I spend alot of mine and Shawn relationship in a cycle. Whether large or small. I usually start them . I know I do i have angry issues i battle everyday. I've had this as long as i can remember. Shawn has helped me control it over the years. But I need to realize before i start the cycle and stop it . Or after i start one to get out of it. It is so hard on a relationship to not get to go on dates but every 6 months. I mean our last date which was half a date was our wedding anniversary, in September. I mean we went to see harry potter but that wasn't a date . That was a movie night. And not to get to spend much time together at all. I love and respect my husband even if half of the time that i don't show him the respect he need or the love he so deserves.

On motherhood. Its such a hard thing. I never realized it till I had one of my own how hard it really is. Growing up you always here people talking on different subjects relating to parenting and raising your kid but you don't realize till you have one of your own the realization of those conversations you heard. I feel like as a mom I don't spend enough time encouraging my sons learning, or even play with him enough. I know this for a fact. I might be home more hours of the day with Caspian but most of them are spent with him asleep. Sad but true. When I get up not only do I have to take care of him i have to take care of the house. Which leads me to neglect a relationship that we both need. Its hard balancing such important things when you know if you pay attention to one thing you neglect all the other things that are important . Sometimes its just hard. Would i rather do the dishes or play with caspian. Would you would you .... need need need. ... There are so many things as a woman that we have to deal with, love, sacrifice and manage... all while trying to maintain a cool. But every now and again your kid does something wrong, or the husband leaves something out of place, or you yourself have neglected to do anything and you snap and some one pays the price.

I have realized that I Tessa \reached a point of snapping. ... There was a very thing rope that was being walked on and at any point on thing or another i might have snaped. I however am working on getting off that very rope. I have been a Christian as long as I can remember. Not always understanding what it meant. Losing my way and stumbling back because as we should know we all need God. It has been YEARS since I have really acknowledge my beliefs in God. I don't know if everyone goes through that but I know I have. Growing up I was made to go to church whether i liked it or not. Eventually I grew to despise the fact the I had to do this. You shouldn't have to go to church every week. I mean you can praise God not at church. I have to admit I don't know everything I am a sinner and many more things. But I do know that I myself need the Lord. It took me having a family to realize that I needed God back in my life. How am I as a person, a women, a wife and a mother supposed to set an example with out God backing me up. Well I wasn't setting an example. I was being selfish thinking that I didn't need God. I know that God has brought the right people into my life to help me. I know that he led me to MOPS and my bible/study. I know that he is guiding me to become a better Tessa. I also know that even when you don't think he's there he is always listening.

Last month my parents and youngest sister came to visit for Caspian's Birthday . It was great but when either mine or Shawn's mother comes to visit, We each get into our own "moods" when they are around. Which put us in one of our little cycles. And then ruins the point of our family coming to visit. I know that I personally have to work on that because Shawn and Caspian are my Family now and my mom and dad and sisters are just blood relatives. Sounds harsh ,but Shawn and Caspian are my family now, i have left the nest so to speak. Following that visit Shawn had a job interview at the big bank here in Pittsburgh, known as PNC. Great right, well a week passes nothing and so on. Till the very last day in which they said they would call. When they called. I think me and Shawn had both worked ourselves to the point that they weren't going to call. I was so nervous and stoked but went about my business while shawn took the call. This job could change everything and we both really need a change for the better. Everything the past year (2010) was pretty negative( besides caspian). As I see shawn walking down the stairs I see nothing in his face or anything. Just looks like shawn . I catch his eye looking for any sign of reenforcement........ nothing..... then to see if i could figure things out from a distance i give him a thumbs up? wait..... and there it is the sign i've been looking for.... A thumbs up... he's got the job.... I am literally jumping for joy inside.... This is what I have been praying for, nearly crying over every night on my way home from work. Asking the Lord to please give us what our family needs. Whether it be that job or not. Just a sign that this is what we need. This is what we need.

Our family can be a family . Hopefully with less stress, less cycles and more love and more family time. This job allows me to quit my job (which is stress full but likable) and become a full time mom with maybe a part time job. I get what I need and shawn will get what he needs too. It allows for me More Caspian time, more Shawn time, More tessa time. But most of all it will give me time I can focus on becoming a better mother, a better wife, a better tessa and most of all a better Christian. But Most of all I thank God . If I hadn't changed my path a year ago at this time. I would be a lost lamb, probably eaten by the wolves. God has shown me the path in which I followed and in return has blessed my family with what we need. Thank you Lord for all that you have given me.

Longing...

Spent a day at the park... it wasn't the first day that made me realize this longing I have.... Growing up I never wanted to get married or have kids.

Then I decided marriage wasn't all to bad , since I had found the right guy..

Then I still wasn't sure about kids... Even when I got pregnant I wasn't

sure.

I have spent a year being a full time mom and a full time employee. I've always worked Its what I know. But this year was one of the hardest years. Trying to be the best i could be ... And it was difficult.
I learned a lot of things this year and figured things out about myself. Well Caspian's birthday came and I had the week off of work. Even though it was stressful. I enjoyed being home all day with my family.
Then it came to me.... I long to be home taking care of my family... Maybe one day...

Looking back on his year...

My son ... what to say... lets start with the fact that he will be one on Friday. I still can't believe a year has passed already. Though it has been filled with our ups and downs I wouldn't change a thing.

Caspian 11 months.... Dances in front of the ipod and when he doesn't like it he will change the song. Or just pull the ipod off and play with it till he's bored and the tosses it away to go find something else. What a smart kid.

Caspian 10 months.... He thinks its absolutely so much fun to pull all the books off the book shelf and then run away and go do something else for me to clean it up and him to do it again.
Caspian 9 months.... one little mobile child walking already... hasn't been still since birth. What can i say he hasn't stopped moving since he could start moving. Much happier kid when he can move freely.
Caspian 8 months.... Such a cutie, he has such a wonderful personality .Though sometime he can be so much like me or Shawn it is just frustrating.
Caspian 7 months...crawling little bugger ... crawls on and over everything. He just likes following us around. Mainly me wants to know where I am at all times.
Caspian 6 months... He took his first road trip to go visit family in Alabama, for my grandparent 50th wedding anniversary. We all had so much fun.
Caspian 5 month... Trying to crawl , hasn't quite got there yet. But thats okay because he got there soon enough. Its all fun and games to him.

Caspian 4 months... got his 1st taste of food. not quite sure if he likes it or not. But he sure does love food now.

Caspian 3 months... Just an adorable bundle... learning to sit and support himself.

Caspian 2 months.... Can roll him self over and has such a Caspian personality. I would have never expected this.
Caspian 1 month... Love his tummy time trying to move around . How much I miss him being this small... He is such a person now and not a baby.
My Parents came to visit shortly after he was born. They love Caspian. Who wouldn't love him.
Caspian 1 day old...Shawn's favorite picture of Caspian and me ... Taken the day we got home from the hospital. I practically lived on that couch for a month.. Now I loath the couch. However I still love my son.
Caspian just born.. My little bundle of 6 lbs 5.9 oz born at 6 pm February 4th 2010.How much i love him. Never thought in the whole time of being pregnant I would love him so much.
HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY CASPIAN RHYS KELLY!!!!!! I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with Shawn and Caspian. How I love my family and can't wait to continue to make it grow in the future. I have lived, loved and loathed a lot of things this year, but it was all worth it.

Not Positive...

I am not positive right now. I am trying but it is so hard. A few things I have had problems with in the past couple of months I have come to terms with and I am over it! Finally. Took me almost 6 months, but I am over it. I mean I will still have issues but I have over come the biggest one. Now its over coming the cutbacks. Like major money cut backs. Even with the extra payday last month we are still either going to barely make it or be short. It is hard to tell due to the fact I don't know whether with Shawn's hourly cut backs if there is and income cutback too. I was prepared for shawns cut back but not thinking that he was going to go from 40 hrs to 15.... um hello we have a family? we live off that money... I was expecting like him working like 25 hrs... that would be ok we could deal with that ... but over half of his hours gone along with a large chunk of our monthly income. Then I wasn't prepared for my hours to be cut.... Um not happy. i feel like i keep getting the raw end of the deal... I am working my ass off to keep my job and fighting for my hours and yet i still keep losing in some aspect. I am looking for other jobs but there are not very many jobs for me out there right now. we were just getting our budget going and BAM! this happens . I want to be able to buy a house this year but the more and more i think about it i feel like we aren't going to be able to . due to the fact that me and shawn keep getting screwed by our jobs. I want this year to go well but when the year starts off with both of us getting our hours cut and our income cut majorly how can i think or feel positive about that. At first i was excited that me and shawn would get more time together. but so far nothing good has come of it. We've been sick.... had to pull shawns teeth to get him to go on a sem-i date with me. I thought by not 2 weeks into the month that i would have my apartment clean and stuff. But no i've been tired, uninspired and sick. So for 2011 is not a happy start. Hopefully I can get it to turn around. Caspian will be one is a little over 2 weeks ... Maybe the will be the happy start to the new year!